


For the Eternity

by Lana_Fair



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: Falling In Love, Forbidden Love, Graphic Description, M/M, Rebirth, Sickness, Vampire AU, gore in later chapters, other characters to be added as the story progresses - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-23
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-07-16 02:16:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16076255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lana_Fair/pseuds/Lana_Fair
Summary: It didn't matter how many time he had to watch him die - Tokiya would keep waiting for Otoya until the pain killed him.Except he wouldn't. Because he couldn't die.





	1. Prologue - Till Death Do Us Apart

The thunder stroked down, breaking the monotone sound of a pouring rain. Small, narrow windows let barely any light in, the only remaining source of light being a dimming chimney. It was dark, and cold, but they didn’t mind it. They couldn’t feel the crippling cold like needles against the skin, eyes used to the darkness. Preferring it over the light.

Red liquid splashed around a golden goblet, leaving stains as the taller vampire slowly sipped the blood. His latest prey was delicious; it was shame to have them die so fast. Ren wouldn’t mind being able to taste this rich flavour once again.

“Are you sure you don’t want some?” he tipped the goblet towards his guest sitting on the other side of the table. The man shook his head. It wasn’t what he came for.

“Give me the herbs and I’m leaving.” Tokiya tapped his finger impatiently against smooth surface of the dining table. Ironic, for a vampire to have a dining table. Completely useless, only serving a purpose of feeling more human. Less like a monster.

“So impolite. Entertain me a little, Icchi.” Ren’s voice dipped at the end; it was what he used on his prey. Stupid humans fell for it every time in hopes of… something. Tokiya wasn’t sure what was going through their empty heads. Did they think someone as regal looking as Ren would be really, truly interested in them?

“Ren. Give me what I came for. Please.” Ren raised one eyebrow, looking at Tokiya’s pleading face. For a vampire to fall so low as to beg for a human… Not that Ren could judge Tokiya. Not so long ago he was in a very similar position.

“I still think you should do it.”

“No. I’m not bringing this on him. He doesn’t deserve it.”

“And does he deserve to die? How many times has it been already, four?” Ren raised his voice. Emotionless creatures, that’s what humans called them. Then how would they explain the desire to protect Tokiya like an older brother protects a little sibling from the pain?

Tokiya bit his lip before answering, his fang breaking the skin. Red looked beautiful against his pale skin. “Six… Six times…”

“What do you think your little lover would prefer: dying over and over again, leaving you broken and grieving each time, or going through the pain of change one time. You could be together forever. Until the world ends.” That… that was tempting. The thought of having Otoya for a period longer than just a few years… The thought of breaking his curse. Of finally being free.

But Tokiya wouldn’t do it. Not to Otoya.

“How’s Masato?” as if on cue, there was a scream down in the dungeons, followed by a loud thud. “Do you think he’s happy now? A mindless monster, only caring about being fed. You can’t even approach him as he is now. Was that worth it?” Tokiya’s voice was full of venom. He knew his words hit Ren where it hurt the most, but he didn’t care. They were supposed to hurt.

“This is going to pass. Maybe not in another fifty years, maybe even longer. We have time. I have eternity to wait for him.”

“Eternity until the humans catch you.” Tokiya said with what he hoped was a sneer. He had his own problems to worry about; he didn’t need to add Ren’s attempt at hiding from humans with a blood lusting monster at his side to the list.

“They won’t. I’ll never let them.” Ren answered, unaffected by Tokiya’s words. He tossed the bag of herbs over the table. “Here. Maybe it’s not too late to decide before you have to say goodbye.” With a blink of an eye, Tokiya grabbed the bag and left, done with the talk. Done with the entire world that didn’t want him to be happy.

 

 

It seemed Otoya didn’t notice Tokiya’s absence. The boy attempted a smile when Tokiya brought a herbal brew to his bed.

“Can you sit?” he asked, voice soft and caring. Tokiya knew the answer, could see it in how Otoya’s body trembled, but still hoped he’d be wrong.

The boy furrowed his brow, clearly focusing on something, but when he opened his mouth to speak it wasn’t words that escaped.

Tokiya almost spilled the brew when he tried put it down and get a cloth to cover Otoya’s mouth with. A coughing fit moved his whole body, lungs too weak for Otoya to cough properly. He heaved, fingers curled around the bedding in pain. Tokiya tried to support his back with an arm, tried to take as much from Otoya as he could so the boy could focus on just one thing at once.

Every second felt like a century, even to Tokiya for whom a year felt like a day. Every second of Otoya coughing like he wanted to cough his insides out like a torture. Finally, it stopped, and Tokiya quickly took the soiled cloth away and cleaned Otoya’s face with a new one. He didn’t need the boy to see his own blood soaking the fabric.

“Sorry…”

“Don’t speak.” Tokiya wiped away the blood and spit around Otoya’s lips and snot leaking from his nose. This should be disgusting, Tokiya should find humans disgusting, but this one was precious. He wasn’t like the others. He was sweet, and good, and Tokiya loved him so much. Too much. It’d kill him one day, Tokiya knew. But, he couldn’t _not_ reach out to Otoya each time the boy was reborn, only to die sooner rather than later due to yet another sickness Tokiya couldn’t cure.

“You’re gonna get sick.” Otoya’s voice was weak when he spoke up as Tokiya kissed his sweaty forehead and held his lithe body close.

“I won’t.” it’s not like he could. And even if he could, dying was so tempting. At least Tokiya wouldn’t have to wait yet another time to love and be loved. They could die together, in pain and silence. Alone, as other humans were too terrified of catching the disease themselves. There would be no one to help like Tokiya cared for Otoya, but maybe that’d be a good thing. Maybe they could reach heaven together.

“I love you, Tokiya.” Otoya’s voice was weak. Impossibly weak. If it weren’t for Tokiya’s hearing, he’d probably miss the confession.

“Shh. I know.” Tokiya refused to admit the crack in his voice and the wetness in his eyes.

“Promise you’ll never forget.” There wasn’t enough air, Tokiya felt like suffocating. He couldn’t breathe and yet he couldn’t just _die._

“Never. I promise. I couldn’t forget you if I tried. I love you, my Otoya.” Otoya smiled lightly and closed his eyes, giving Tokiya’s hand one last squeeze.

“I love you.” Whispered Tokiya as the grip got weaker.

“I love you.” As the breathing stopped.

“I love you.” Repeated as a mantra as Otoya’s body grew colder with each minute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with this, I officially begin my vampire story you voted for on twitter!
> 
> Please leave a comment and a kudos! I'm going to work on chapters ahead so I can post them even when busy.
> 
> For now, Lana's out.


	2. Burn your name upon my heart until it's all I know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even after all the years and all the deaths he had to go through, Tokiya still longed to see Otoya. To be with him.  
> Soon, he'd have to learn to keep his distance, because the happier he got, the more Otoya had to suffer in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you didn't notice before, this fic is heavy. And this chapter gets heavy. You have been warned.

Moving on was never easy. No matter how many times one had to do it, it was, and will never be easy.

Tokiya learned that the hard way.

The area he decided to stay a little longer at was nice; peaceful, not many people around, and those who lived there weren’t aware of the existence of vampires. No one was wary of him any more than they’d be wary of a newcomer they soon warmed up to. And if anyone woke up with two punctures somewhere on their bodies, no one even made a connection because they simply _didn’t know_.

Usually, Tokiya would like it here. People were wise and some might have more knowledge than he, an immortal who lived for centuries already. A cozy little hut in the forest, soothing scenery, an idyllic place…

“Good evening, Tokiya-san!” and a little redhead, happily trotting down the road with a basket full of fruit and a smile more dazzling than a sun. It was hard, every day harder than before, but Tokiya forced himself to return a smile.

“Good evening, Otoya.” Tokiya answered as he always did, despite crossing paths with Otoya a few times that day. The boy panted when he caught up with the vampire, basket definitely not making it any easier to run. “A late errand?”

“Yes! The village chief asked me to deliver those.” The boy raised his basket so Tokiya could peek inside; mostly apples, a bread and a bottle of red juice. Those most likely were supposed to be Otoya’s supper and Tokiya couldn’t help but chuckle. No matter what, the boy seemed to love raspberry juice more than anything.

Such a small detail, one Tokiya shouldn’t even remember after all the years of loneliness. But he did. It was a detail about Otoya, of course he’d remember.

“Isn’t that a little too heavy?” Tokiya questioned, eyeing the basket. True, it was filled to the brim with fruit, and Otoya’s thin arms were shaking with exertion. Stupid, precious idiot. Should have said no, or even asked for help to carry all those, but there was something in Otoya that forced him to even self-destruct for the sake of others. Tokiya learned that the hard way.

“It’s not!” Otoya answered with a smile, clearly happy to be useful for someone. “Chief made me go a few times, there was just so much! I wanted to take all the baskets at once…” Otoya sulked a little and Tokiya didn’t have the heart to tell him it’d be humanly impossible for him to handle all the baskets even if he had the strength to carry them.

“I could help you. The sun is going to set soon.” Tokiya offered, hand raised to take the basket from the boy. Otoya shook his head.

“Thank you, but this is something I have to do myself.” A sad smile. Tokiya knew how much Otoya wanted to be useful to the village; he didn’t have the strength to hunt, or carry wood, or work in the field like other boys his age. Those little, seemingly not important works were all Otoya could do, and oh so wanted to. He didn’t want to be a burden to those around him.

He never was. Not for Tokiya.

“B-but! Thank you, I appreciate the offer!” Otoya whipped his head up, the shine back in his lovely eyes. “I’m gonna head over to deliver this if I want to return before it gets dark.” Despite his words, Otoya put the basket on a patch of grass in the middle of a road. He skipped over it, made a short run closer to Tokiya, and stood up on his toes, stretching as much as it was possible. Tokiya knew that routine perfectly, had it engraved deep in his heart already. He leaned over and kissed Otoya, the boy swaying on his lithe legs. Poor little thing; if only Tokiya arrived into the village sooner, Otoya wouldn’t have to suffer from malnourishment for so long it affected his growth.

Moving on was never easy. So Tokiya never did.

Otoya was sweet like always, smelling of wind and apples and something distinctive Tokiya learned over the years was his natural scent he carried on him no matter what. Kisses little hesitant because this Otoya wasn’t used to them yet. It was so adorable, Tokiya felt like holding his precious boy in his arms, shielding him from the world, from anything that could take Otoya away once again.

Otoya’s legs gave out soon and he broke the kiss. A flush looked good on his cheeks. This time, it wasn’t a sign of yet another sickness. This time it was a sign of Otoya being happy and loved like Otoya should always be loved. This boy deserved the world, and Tokiya wanted to give him just that.

“Will you come over tonight?” Otoya asked in a small voice, almost like telling a secret.

“If you’d have me.” Tokiya smiled in response. “First I have to talk with the Chief, but I will come after the sunset.”

“I’ll wait then.” Otoya stretched up for one more kiss and, while giggling like a maiden in love, grabbed his basket and took off. Wind carried his voice all over the village, until Otoya was far enough Tokiya could barely hear him. So utterly in love, Tokiya allowed himself to forget the worry of what would take Otoya away this time. They were happy, everything was right, so maybe, just maybe, the curse was over. Maybe Tokiya was finally free.

 

It was just a matter of minutes when a peaceful evening turned into a hell on earth. Rain heavier than the eldest people in the village could remember, thunders so frequent the night was bright as a day. Children were crying, adults were screaming, the commotion was too much for Tokiya’s ears. It took all his attention, and he couldn’t focus to listen for that one distinctive voice.

If he didn’t find Otoya in the next five minutes, Tokiya thought he might actually lose his mind.

Someone was screaming about a fire, fire strong enough the rain was only making it worse, but it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter, because Otoya wasn’t at Tokiya’s side, but then Tokiya was running, running as fast as he could, not minding someone could get suspicious how could he get so fast. Running, because the building ablaze was a shrine, a shrine with all the orphans of the village, with everything precious to this community, with _Otoya inside_.

By the time he made it to the shrine, some of the kids were out, crying. Some were trying to explain something, most likely what was going on inside, but with their wails it was nearly impossible to understand. A few men were trying to quench the fire however they could, but Tokiya lived long enough to know it was futile. They were not going to save anyone. Not like that.

Despite all the enhancements and powers that came with the vampirism, Tokiya’s body was still human. The fire still burned it, could destroy it for years to come until Tokiya drank enough blood to heal. Tokiya still had a human reaction to back out when he tried to jump into the fire, to run into the shrine and find Otoya. It possibly hurt him even more, fire being one of few things that could end a vampire’s life. It hurt, it hurt so much knowing he had so much power and yet he was yet again so weak against the curse. Too weak to protect Otoya _again._ There was no way in, the building was collapsing, and even the humans, the stupid, always too hopeful humans knew it was too late. No one was trying to quench the fire; everyone was sobbing, praying for the poor souls lost in the fire.

Knees hitting the mud, Tokiya began to scream, louder than anyone around him, he could hear _everything_. He could hear Otoya’s scream of pain as the flames surrounded him, little and trapped and not deserving any of this. He could hear him scream as the flames burned his skin, his eyes, his everything, and Tokiya could only pray for the death to come to stop that agony. Could only beg for Otoya to just die, to finally let go, to stop hurting. And that, not the fangs or the amount of people he killed over the years, made Tokiya feel like a real monster.

Soon, the sound of rain, wind, flames, and his own scream got too much. Tokiya could no longer hear as Otoya’s voice got weaker and weaker until it finally stopped. Later, he’d have to come back. To find Otoya, wonderful, beautiful Otoya, deformed beyond recognition. Tokiya’d have to come back for a burial Otoya, and everyone else deserved, and then he’d run, run far away. Far away from the village. Far away from his love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna... sit there and watch my babies cry.
> 
> Please comment and leave kudos if you haven't already!


	3. For Better, For Worse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tokiya starts to lose it, but is there anything that can help him?

Tokiya watched Otoya from afar as the boy tried to scrub a stain from an old wooden table that has seen too much. The place, the old tavern in the middle of nowhere, wasn’t a place Tokiya wished for Otoya to be anywhere near. But, there was only so much he could do without getting too involved with the boy. Without getting too close, without falling in love and being loved once again, because Otoya would always love him. Tokiya no longer knew if it was part of the curse, or if it was Otoya’s destiny to love Tokiya. So, he did as much as he could. He always asked for Otoya’s service, always tipped well, always made sure to leave a few additional coins behind when the boy was in a need.

Always made sure that whoever tried to get too close to him, whoever scared Otoya to the point of crying in the kitchen never got to return to the tavern again. Just like the bastard from the night before whose blood dripped down Tokiya’s chin as he gulped it down from the obscure cup. It was dangerous to drink blood near humans, and yet the ecstasy at the thought that the shit who caused Otoya to limp today was dead blinded Tokiya’s reason.

Tokiya shivered at the memory of his fingers tearing the man up alive, relished in the sounds of his agony…

“-chinose.”

Savored the disgusting blood mixed with alcohol and some herb affecting their little human brains, the smell of which completely permeated into every corner of the tavern…

“ _Ichinose._ ” Tokiya jumped in his seat when Masato’s hand struck down onto the table, almost breaking it in half. It was almost embarrassing how a vampire like him got scared by a fledgling; for a vampire, Masato would be akin to a toddler. It wasn’t that long ago when Tokiya witnessed Ren attempt to feed the young vampire thrashing in his cell at the smell of blood. Now, Ren trusted him enough to let Masato roam on his own, even letting him approach humans.

Exactly how much time has passed since then? Tokiya lost track.

“You shouldn’t be here.” Masato hissed out, the smell of blood in Tokiya’s mug clearly affecting his senses; his eyes turned into pools of darkness and Tokiya could see a glimpse of fangs elongating.

“Ren should teach you how to speak to your elders.” He answered with as much malice as he could muster up at the moment. As much as he respected Masato back in his human days, no vampire would accept such a treatment from a fledgling. Besides, him being there meant one thing: Ren’s patience was running out.

“You know why I’m here, don’t you.” It should irritate Tokiya more how Masato decided to sit down in his presence without being prompted to do so. It didn’t; he couldn’t find it in himself to care. Just like he couldn’t find it in himself to care to answer, choosing to gulp down the remaining blood. “Jinguji’s concerned for you. That you’re going to destroy yourself.”

“That wouldn’t be a bad thing.” Tokiya wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. There was no trace of redness on it.

“You call being a brainless monster not a bad thing?” Masato lowered his voice to a whisper no human ears should be able to hear.

“Yes. You should remember it’s really not bad. You were in that state, what, a decade ago?”

“Half a century.”

“My point still stands, Hijirikawa. You are in no place to tell me what to do.” Except, there was a difference. The last time Tokiya had seen him, Masato was still adjusting to his vampirism and the constant need for blood. For Tokiya, however, losing mind would be the end. The only salvation would be a merciful vampire, someone more powerful than Tokiya himself, to put the end to him.

No doubt Ren was practically breathing down his neck; if things were to go south, it’d be most likely him to rip Tokiya’s heart out.

Tokiya perked up at the sound of Otoya’s laughter, as forced as it was. It was his job after all. It was what kept him relatively safe and okay when Tokiya couldn’t.

“This is not fair for him.” Masato spoke up again, noticing what grabbed Tokiya’s attention. He, too, could see the fading bruises, heavy bags under Otoya’s eyes, and the sick color of his skin. Something was not right, but Tokiya decided to keep his distance. Whatever happened, he’d keep Otoya at a distance big enough to keep him safe from the curse.

“This is the best I have to offer. He’s safe here.”

“He’s forced to sell his body for whatever money he gets. I doubt he’d still be here if it were more than what needed to survive.” Tokiya gripped his cup to the point of leaving hand print over the sides. “Why do you keep refusing Jinguji’s idea?” Tokiya didn’t answer straight away and Masato didn’t expect him to; he didn’t expect Tokiya to answer at all. Masato expected him to lash out, or at least to stand up and leave and make both Masato and Ren seek him out yet again.

He didn’t expect Tokiya to return the question.

“Are _you_ happy Ren turned you?” Masato’s eyes suddenly got big; any other day it’d make Tokiya laugh. Maybe it’d be even more hilarious if Otoya was there to witness it and make the facial expression even better with his laughter. But he wasn’t there, and Tokiya was too low to even notice the ridiculousness of their conversation. Two vampires, one of which still couldn’t fully control his thirst and the other began to lose said control, sitting in a human brothel stinking of alcohol and urine, talking about cursing someone with eternity. Because that what a vampirism was. A curse.

“… Sometimes.” Tokiya remained quiet, waiting for Masato to continue. “There are times…  When I’d rather have just one, human life. Short and fleeting, but now I know both…” A deep breath in, a slow exhale, “I… I’d rather have one lifetime of freedom rather than an eternity of this existence.”

“Of hiding?”

“Yes.” Masato hunched slightly, hiding his face behind a curtain of hair. He didn’t move, even when a girl approached them to clean the table they were sitting at. Tokiya allowed her to take his now empty mug away; he was sure a few droplets of blood inside a dish weren’t something the crew would be surprised by.

“I can’t approach him.” It surprised Tokiya himself when he spoke out. He never told anyone about his curse, not a single word. Ren, of course, knew, but there was very little that could hide from him and it was Ren to first realize the extent of Tokiya’s curse. “The closer I am, the more painful his life is. The more he has to suffer. And there’s nothing I can do about it. He just… He keeps coming back.” _I keep falling in love with him_ was left unsaid but Masato knew. And, for the very first time, began to understand Ren’s reasons to turn him.

Tokiya’s eyes glistened with something as they followed Otoya until he disappeared in the kitchen. He didn’t look good, his skin sickeningly pale, but he was so _beautiful_. “I can’t die, Masato.” It was the first time Tokiya ever called him by his first name. Masato let that slide. “I can’t let Ren kill me. Who’s going to protect Otoya when I’m not here? When he gets born again, alone in this world? He needs me.” The sound of Otoya slowly hitting the wall and falling onto the floor were drown out by Tokiya’s own voice, just as the hushed shouts of other workers, hurrying to take the now corpse away before anyone noticed.

“And I need him to be _human_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> laughs maniacally as she runs away


	4. In Sickness and In Health

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's not much time left for Tokiya, and yet he seems to have welcomed the prospect of death with open arms.
> 
> Ren will make sure it doesn't end like that.

Blood dripped down Tokiya’s chin as he heaved over the air, the half-eaten heart splattered over the wall to his right. A heart of an unknown person, the face of which Tokiya couldn’t recall no matter how hard he tried. Up until now he remembered face of his every prey. Their eyes, wide and terrified once the realization of their fate sank in, just like Tokiya’s fangs a moments later. He hunted to kill; there was nothing romantic about it.

Stupid humans to think so. Stupid Ren for reminding him over and over again exactly how intimate an act of drinking blood straight from a human’s neck was supposed to be for vampires.

Now, there was nothing intimate about it. Not that there ever was anything like that. It was just for survival, Tokiya reasoned. Kill and survive. A rule every living being followed. If it were to be intimate for Tokiya, then it’d have to be blood of a special someone. A sentimental vampire, what a joke. But, the sheer thought of biting into the flesh of _Otoya_ of all people made Tokiya heave again, despite not being able to vomit.

“Back with me, Icchi?” Tokiya’s entire body shuddered at the voice; in his haze he, a vampire, didn’t realize there was someone inside the very cave he took a shelter in.

“R-Ren.” Despite the blood dripping from his mouth, Tokiya’s throat felt like a parchment as he spoke.

“In the flesh.” Ren eyed the splatter on the wall, giving himself a mental pat on the back. Having Masato stay behind was the best decision Ren made in a very long time; he didn’t need two vampires go crazy on him. “I guess asking how you’ve been would be pointless.” The organ on the wall, the red puddle on the floor; it was obvious that Tokiya was far from being okay. It was almost comical how the thought terrified Ren.

“What do you want.” Tokiya’s voice was raspy, fangs elongated; most likely due to the overwhelming scent of blood. Ren had a full control of himself, and yet he did feel a throb of his own fangs. What it had to be like for Tokiya, once a proud, powerful vampire, now a dirty mess kneeling on the stone floor.

All in the name of love.

_Bullshit._

“This is killing you, Tokiya.” His name. Ren was serious, to use it instead of the nickname, “This is dangerous. For you, for the humans, for us as well.” For vampires in general, but there were very few if his own kind Ren cared for. Some could rot in hell and Ren wouldn’t move a finger to help.

“So, what do you want me to do. Destroy him like you did with Masato?” Tokiya snarled, knowing he hit where it hurt the most. True to that, Ren reminded silent for a minute, jaw tight. The usual fondness he had in his eyes for Tokiya disappeared, and Tokiya felt an embryo of fear form in his guts. He knew, way too well, that if things were to go south, it’d be Ren to stop him. Tokiya knew, if Ren were to attack him now, Tokiya would never see Otoya ever again, and the heart of a human wouldn’t be the only one to splatter on the wall.

“It was the only way. For us.” Tokiya didn’t remember the last time Ren looked this dangerous. His form screamed vampire like never before. Despite himself, Tokiya curled slightly, head bowing in respect; it felt like they were back to Tokiya’s own beginnings, when he was an untamed fledgling. It was then when Ren took him under his wing, becoming something akin to an older brother.

“I don’t want that. Not for him.”

“It soon will stop being what do you want and will become what is necessary to save you. I won’t stand back and watch you lose yourself, Tokiya.”

“Would you turn him?”

“Yes.” Tokiya snarled again but didn’t jump, despite oh so wanting to. Otoya was supposed to be safe. Becoming a vampire wasn’t part of that. _If_ the boy were lucky enough to survive the change, that is.

Knowing Tokiya’s luck, and the curse, it’d be yet another death to add to the list

“How bad is it?”

“Ren…” the older vampire cut Tokiya of with a wave of his hand.

“The truth Tokiya. I need your help, and I can’t have you offer that when you’re a possible threat.” Ren watched the Adam’s apple on Tokiya’s throat bob as he swallowed loudly. He could only hope Tokiya, for at least one goddamn time, would hide his pride where the sun doesn’t shine and be honest. Usually, the stubbornness of the younger vampire was amusing, when he was trying to hide what Ren could easily uncover. Now? Not so much. There was too much to lose, the stake too big.

“What for?” Ren could only pray Tokiya’s interest meant good.

“I need your help to find a baby.”

“…Baby?” Tokiya raised a brow. Did Ren get a ridiculous idea to start a family?

“A young vampire. _Very_ young by the looks of it. Messy, but smart. I want to catch it not only to protect us; I want to know how such a young vampire managed to break free from their master, or even be sane enough not to murder an entire village the first thing after sniffing the humans out.”

“And why do you ask me?”

“It’s a…” Ren stopped for a moment, looking for right words, “Delicate matter.”

“And you ask a mental vampire for help.” Tokiya deadpanned.

“Not yet mental. I want you to focus on something other than your own distress. Masato is still too blood driven for this.” Letting Masato roam free while also having an eye on him was something else than letting Masato go on his own while Ren himself had to focus on important things. As much as he wanted to trust his lover, Ren knew how bad the change was for Masato. He almost lost him too many times to count, cursing his own selfishness as he attempted to tame yet another fit.

“You’re leaving him?”

“I’m assigning him a mission. If you don’t want your cute boyfriend to become a victim to that fledgling then someone has to look after him. I can’t do both.” With the curse, Ren suspected it was only a matter of time before the young vampire on the run would take interest in Otoya. After all, the boy was so pure and good, his blood must be delicious. And a child play to take a sip of; hospitality was Otoya’s biggest trait, but could also be his doom.

“Where?”

“North from here. Follow the path of dead animals; poor young, having to sate his thirst like that.” For vampires, having to drink blood of forest game was akin to eating garbage. It was disgusting, but for some a necessity to survive. If it indeed were a youngling like Ren suspected then it must be extremely hungry to go so low.

Or it didn’t knew better, seeing how it appeared to be masterless.

“If you have anything to say then do it and leave.” Ren remained silent for a moment, eyeing Tokiya’s hunched pose.

“He lived a long life. Died of age, surrounded by friends and family. But I wouldn’t say he was happy.” Ren bit the inside of his cheek at the tears forming in Tokiya’s eyes. “Not then, not now. My offer still stands, if you decide to take it.” With that Ren left, the only evidence of him ever being here was a flutter of curtains. Flutter Tokiya didn’t see with his face hidden in his hands as he let himself cry for the first time in centuries.


	5. Now and forever

“What a mess.” Ren murmured under his breath, fingers coated in red. A corpse on the ground was barely recognizable, the grass stained deep crimson. It was truly picturesque in its tragedy; deadly art of a monster.

That sounded like a story humans would enjoy.

“No master to show them how to feast, the little vampire sure is a glutton.” the tone was cheerful, as if Ren was telling a funny story overheard in a town this morning. Completely out of place. Completely unfitting for the odor of blood, slowly sinking into the ground. No plant would grow there for a long time, and it was only a matter of time before carnivores would succumb to their own stupidity and approach a vampire.

“Three different scents... That pile alone should be sufficient to fulfill its needs for the time being.”

“Why do you keep calling the baby 'it'?” Ren had the audacity to pout, his tone changing to teasing one Tokiya knew quite too well.

“I refuse to keep calling it 'baby'.” Ren laughed at the bite in Tokiya's own voice, having nothing of it. As always; around Ren, Tokiya felt like he himself was just a baby. A little vampire lead by his hand.

This one, the one they were after, didn't have such memories to cherish.

“Killjoy.” Ren ignored the harsh look on Tokiya's face. “The blood is relatively fresh. We must be on a right trail.” wiping dirtied fingers with a white kerchief, Ren stood up from his spot next to the pile. Tokiya observed in silence as he thoroughly cleaned each finger, nails and cuticles included, before letting the white cloth slowly fall onto the bodies. Just as they connected, the handkerchief burst in flames. The warm light made everything look even worse, dark shadows on the ground as the flames overlapped.

“Won't the trail remain? The ashes are still easily noticeable.”

“It will, but it still buys us more time. I don't want humans nor another vampire to grow interested. We don't need an audience.” Ren's answer was calm and yet Tokiya recognized a hint of nervousness in his voice. This mission, for some reason it was really important to him. Weirdly so, Ren never was one to care much.

“It's the last clue. What next?” Tokiya couldn't say he enjoyed this. He disliked being kept in the dark, having no control over his doings. He allowed Ren to lead him, a reminiscence of their childhood, but with their final clue examined, what was the next step? And when would Ren tell him _anything_?

“You're going back to the city to meet with Masato. There's somewhere I need to go first.”

“And I can't go with you because?”

“Because I need you to keep looking in case I don't come back.” Tokiya would lie if he said that didn't take him by surprise. The face Ren made, that weird fond look in his eyes Tokiya wasn't used to... It was borderline creepy. Concerning, scary even. Ren didn't make such faces. Ren didn't fear death, because he couldn't die. Not a vampire this strong.

What in the hell did he pull Tokiya into?

“Please, don't argue with me. If you need, flee the city. I will find you. Don't let anyone get you.” were the last words Ren said before he disappeared into the night, the nature around them dead and silent. Tokiya didn't like the feeling it gave him. He wasn't afraid of darkness, no. He was its child. He preferred things this way. However, he couldn't help but listen to that feeling deep in his gut telling him that something was about to happen. Brushing it off as just a reminder of Ren's mysterious words, Tokiya took a turn to where he knew was the city; he could smell the fire of many fireplaces. It was a trail he shouldn't have lost, not with his enhanced smell.

But he did.

A sudden whiff of fresh blood caught on his nostrils, different from what the pile stunk like. Those bodies began to rot, mixed with dirt and exposed to elements. This, however, made Tokiya stop in his tracks. Whatever control Ren managed to teach him anew was the only thing that stopped him from sprinting there. Instead, Tokiya let his mind work; it wasn't the direction where Ren left. Another vampire?

Or were they wrong and the young vampire never left the area?

Part of Tokiya, the part that lost control not so long ago, the same part that wanted to do good by Ren, told him to reach out to the older vampire. The other part, the proud part, moved his legs before Tokiya could decide what was rational. Something pulled him, the forest around as dead as his heart, not a sound to be heard. And yet, everything seemed so loud for him; louder the closer he got. The noises were more prominent now; a clear noise of teeth ripping the flesh, blood gushing from a still warm body. It must have been a vampire, there was no doubt. The area lacked any other blood driven creature, and werewolves would be much louder about catching a prey.

_The youngling._

Tokiya slowed down, careful not to make any possible noise. He had no idea how keen the youngling's senses were. If Ren took it this seriously, then Tokiya was not about to let a stupid little vampire who couldn't control their thirst overbear him.

He could see the silhouette in the faint moonlight; just a little closer and the youngling wouldn't even know what happened before Tokiya'd have it eat the dirt under the pressure of his power. Just a little closer...

The first thing Tokiya noticed about the youngling was the mess it made all over itself and the ground. It ate in hurry, picking scraps like a little pig. The dark cape over its shoulders covered the face; Tokiya couldn't tell its gender or a possible age. He could, however, tell its scent over the ever-present odor of blood. It caused his breath to hitch and hands to shake.

No.

_Impossible._

A moment of inadvertence caused Tokiya to step on a little branch that broke under his weight. The noise caused the youngling to turn, big eyes staring at him with terror. It was young, definitely young, with blood dripping down its messy face, the red darker than its hair hidden under the cape or the eyes shining more than thousands of stars, and it was beautiful, so beautiful, and Tokiya felt like crying...

“ _Otoya?”_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> c:


	6. I love you

It was like a bad dream. It had to be. Tokiya knew as a vampire he couldn't dream, the sleep like state only used for preserving the energy and healing, but for once he wished that part of him could be more human. Maybe then Otoya, beautiful, alive, with eyes even more vibrant against his now pale skin, would be just that. A dream.

The piece of meat fell from Otoya's dirtied hand. Eyes still open wide, just as his mouth with blood falling down his chin; it wasn't supposed to be like that. Otoya was supposed to be safe, not a vampire... Tokiya never wanted him to become a monster like he himself was...

“Oto...”

“Tokiya? You're... you're really Tokiya?” had his heart been still alive, it'd skip a few beats. Otoya knew him, knew his _name_. But how? At the loss of words, Tokiya could just nod, the slightest movement a human eye wouldn't be able to register.

“Tokiya!” suddenly, his arms were full of a fidgety boy, placing dirty kisses all over Tokiya's face. It wasn't long before Otoya moved his lips to Tokiya's, and he responded with fervor Tokiya didn't know he was capable of. Otoya was sweet, just like before, and even the foul taste of blood couldn't change that. Tokiya gasped when he nicked his tongue on Otoya's fangs; he wasn't used to kissing someone with those. He never kissed a vampire before. That experience was completely new.

“Toki...” Otoya sobbed in between kisses, holding on Tokiya as if his life depended on it. Like he'd be taken away the second his grip weakened. “You found me... You're back...”

“Otoya?”

“Please, don't leave me ever again.” Otoya lowered his head and snuggled up in the crook of Tokiya's neck. He always liked that place. He used to say he felt safe there, with Tokiya's arms around him, like nothing could hurt him.

Except it did, too many times to count.

“How... How do you remember me...” Tokiya gasped, throat tight. He could feel all his humanity coming back, everything he lost with leaving Otoya behind for his own safety, and it hurt so _good_. This pain was good.

“I... I don't know, but I do, I remember everything, I always did.” His clothes were most likely soiled, Otoya must have wiped all the blood on his face against it, but Tokiya couldn't care less. His love was in his arms, right where Otoya always belonged, and that was the only thing that mattered.

“You remember?”

“Everything.” all the deaths, the pain, how Tokiya pushed him away thinking it'd do any good. How could Otoya live through it all, die so many times, live knowing Tokiya abandoned him, and yet still look at him with so much love? Tokiya wasn't worthy of that. Not the monster he became on his own accord.

“If you're a monster, then what does it make me?” Otoya pulled back, eyes locking with Tokiya's own. He must have spoken out loud, or Otoya was simply as good at reading Tokiya like a child's book as he was all those years ago.

“Who did that?” who dared to lay their dirty fangs on Otoya's precious skin, who dared to share their blood with him.

Otoya shrugged his shoulders, eyes leaving Tokiya's. He knew he's on a perfect way to get in trouble.

“I'm not sure. I don't even know his name. He was weird, kinda creepy, but he was willing to turn me.” Tokiya wasn't a fan of the nonchalant tone Otoya used for the confession.

“Willing?”

“I asked. I just wanted to find you.” Tokiya knew he should be angry, that he should give him an earful, but all the anger in him was directed at the vampire. The stupid vampire who decided a random kid approaching them with all that knowledge wasn't suspicious.

As much as Tokiya appreciated the vampire didn't kill Otoya on the spot the moment he asked to be turned, the idiot was a danger to their kind.

“I must find Ren.” the mysterious vampireling found, Ren had no reason to risk his life trying to find what Tokiya had right in front of him. “You're going to lead us to that vampire. Who knows, if he agreed so easily to turn you, maybe you're not the only one.”

“I'm definitely the last one.” Tokiya raised a brow at how sure Otoya seemed to be. “I'm adorable.” the boy beamed at him, smile brighter than the sun.

Tokiya clicked his tongue in annoyance, hand traveling up to pinch the bridge of his nose. It's been a while, years, and his body still reacted the same way to Otoya's idiocy. “I'm not about to argue with that, but how does that ensure he's not gonna turn anyone else?”

“He didn't expect me to kill him.” Hand falling down from his face, Tokiya's eyes opened so wide, any wider and they'd probably pop out of their sockets. It could be possible, something like that wouldn't kill him, and the eyeball would grow out anew. Tokiya had so many questions, so many concerns; the most important one being how did Otoya manage to avoid the brainwashing turn period. How wasn't he a bloodthirsty monster? How could he stand here, converse with Tokiya in the first place, his thoughts rational, and for God's sake, there was a pool of _blood_ right behind him. That alone should drive Otoya crazy.

Just as Tokiya opened his mouth, first syllables forming on the tip of his tongue, he felt a strong push like never before. All he saw was the surprise in Otoya's eyes before something caught them both. Something inside him told him not to fight; there was no reason to.

“Quiet.” Ren's voice was barely audible, hands covering their mouths for a good measure. Tokiya tried to move his head, if only to try to read Ren's expression, but the grip was too strong. He could feel Otoya shaking ever so slightly next to him, the reason of which completely unknown for Tokiya. He'd need to remember to ask later, his mind now too occupied with the human voices right behind their backs.

Every second Ren refused to let them move as the humans inspected the mess Otoya left on the ground felt like an eternity. Otoya was getting fidgety, hand grasping Tokiya's wrist across Ren's lap. Such close proximity to the humans was doing something to him, yet Tokiya wasn't clearly sure what. Was that hunger, or was that fear? Otoya was a novelty, the first fledgling Tokiya met that had full control of himself.

“Take Ikki and run.” Ren whispered as his grip weakened. He pushed them out of the hiding place they were in, the warmth of the torches hitting their skin.

“Ren, what's going on?”

“Go. They got Masa, just go.” Tokiya hated the pleading tone in Ren's voice. The desperation hidden in his eyes. It didn't suit him, not at all, and Tokiya would argue to stay, to fight, if he didn't know Ren. He already lost the battle when the humans got their filthy hands on Masato and was willing to sacrifice even more for them.

“Ren.” Tokiya managed to take a hold on his arm through the dark cape. “Our house... Give it a week, wait for the humans to cool off, and then let's meet there. We're getting Hijirikawa back.” Ren smiled at him, the smug grin Tokiya was used and didn't know so needed to see right now.

“I'll wait for you there.” with that, Ren disappeared into the night, only the screams of humans murdered with cold blood the indication where he went. Tokiya had no idea what was happening, the smell of the torches disturbing his senses like never before. Only once had Tokiya felt that way, back in the village when Otoya's screams of agony were the only things his ears could register.

Ashwood... Holly above the doors... Dogrose with its thorns digging into burned skin to prevent any to rise from the dead...

“Hunters.” Tokiya heard himself say. Hunters... Powerful ones, Ren wouldn't be this worried about amateurs. They clearly knew what they were doing, unlike them, trapped like rabbits. Tokiya could no longer tell which way to go, where was safe, and he had no idea if that was just the effect of the herbs the hunters burned, or if it was the fear for Otoya's life.

“We must go... Tokiya, we must go!” with all the strength left Otoya made Tokiya run, hand secured in Tokiya's bigger one. Pulling through the forest, Otoya had no clear idea where they were supposed to go. He knew nothing of the home Tokiya and Ren were talking about. All he knew that they needed to get as far away as it was possible. For Ren, too.

The impact of Tokiya running into Otoya sent them both to the ground. The boy made a move to stand up but Tokiya pressed his head against the ground, protecting him with his own body as he heard the bolts cutting the air above their heads. It wasn't time to be petrified with fear... Tokiya shook his head, his mind clearer now. He waited for the hunters to stop, to have to reload, before pulling Otoya back on his feet.

“This way.” Whatever the hunters were using, it was working. Tokiya couldn't run as fast as he used to, now barely faster than a human. Otoya seemed the same, his feet moving slower with each step they were taking, and the hunters were right behind them. Turning his head, Tokiya could see their faces, the pure silver on the bolts glistening in the torchlight. Close, too _close...!_

“Tokiya!” he could hear Otoya's scream of panic before he felt it. The bolt, piercing his skin like it was nothing, and the pain of the silver in it came later.

“Shit...!” they got his arm, so why did his legs feel so heavy out of sudden? Tokiya was terrified, for the first time in forever truly terrified. He knew he wouldn't be able to run, it'd be pointless. He'd just slow Otoya down...

“Otoya, go.” the boy shook his head, tears falling down his pale cheeks.

“No, Tokiya, _no,_ I'm not leaving you...!” there was no time for that, Otoya had to run. There was nothing more important than his safety.

“I love you.” the confession made Tokiya feel light, and he could forget the chase if it wasn't for the ever-present noise filling his ears. He pushed Otoya away as he adjusted his stance. If he were to die, he refused to die like a filthy dog under the human's boot. He was a vampire, and he'd die fighting like one.

“Tokiya...!” it was so easy to turn around; at least, that way he wouldn't have to look Otoya in the eye as he attempted a fight he was destined to lose. Looking straight at the humans, Tokiya could see the hunter zero in on his chest, on where his heart should be. Accepting the death was easy. Too easy.

There was a whizz, the bolt cutting the air, and then Tokiya saw as it tore through Otoya's chest. The boy fell to his knees from the impact, blood gushing from the wound. Otoya's body on the ground, dying once again in front of Tokiya eyes.

No.

_No..._

“OTOYA!” the end came fast.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it! Thank you all for going through the journey that was this story with me! I definitely love this story and I'm forever going to be thankful this is the option that won the poll all those months ago. I guess next story should be happier than this one, ne? We'll see about that.
> 
> For now, Lana's out!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [A Promise](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17730701) by [melodycanta](https://archiveofourown.org/users/melodycanta/pseuds/melodycanta)




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